Laura
Brotherson 
Pretty Sister Laura Brotherson Says: It's Time to Thrive in
Marriage
What does it take to not just get by in marriage...but to
THRIVE!? The following keys will help you and your spouse develop a thriving
relationship that will bring you joy, and be a light to
others.
1.
Acceptance of Self and Spouse. Acceptance unlocks the door to
change both ourselves and in our spouses. Acceptance says, "It's okay for
me to be me," and "It's okay for my spouse to be him/herself." Thriving in
marriage means we don't waste valuable time trying to "fix" or change our
spouse, but that we focus our attention on improving ourselves. Disciplining our
thoughts to focus on the good and the positives about ourselves and our spouse
is a necessary skill for thriving in
marriage.
2.
Playfulness and Humor. Recently my husband and I were
discussing what it takes for a marriage to thrive. We decided that the one thing
that really distinguishes a thriving marriage from a mediocre marriage is how
much playfulness and humor couples share. One woman told me that she can always
tell how their marriage is doing by how playful she and her husband are with
each other. An important part of playfulness and fun is making sure you and your
spouse schedule time to yourself for a weekly date. Marriage requires constant
nourishment and attention if it is to thrive.
3.
Affection. Related to playfulness and fun is affection. Couples
that are thriving in their marriage like to touch each other and do so naturally
and frequently. For some of us affection is a learned behavior, especially if we
come from non-touchy families. But non-sexual touch is a key habit for you and
your spouse to learn for your marriage to thrive.
4.
Sex. When the non-sexual touch is plentiful and playful it
nourishes the sexual relationship. In thriving marriages, couples not only make
sex a priority, but they both enjoy the sexual passion that they share. For most
couples sexual compatibility is a learned behavior. Learning how to nourish your
relationship sexually is worth the effort and keeps the passion alive and
thriving.
5. Emotional Connection. To
thrive in marriage there must be an ongoing open and honest sharing of our
hearts and souls. Feeling safe enough to share your joys and dreams as well as
sorrows and fears feeds the emotional connection in the relationship, allowing
couples to thrive amidst the ups and downs of life.
6.
Personal Growth. Self-awareness, self-understanding, and
self-development are an ongoing process that couples must both engage in in
order to truly thrive in marriage. Taking responsibility for one's self, one's
growth, and one's happiness creates a personal reservoir from which spouses are
more able to love and nourish each other. Thriving couples don't expect each
other to make them happy. They've learned how to be happy within themselves,
which brings strength and resilience to the marriage. Some of the most important
work in marriage is learning to tune into and stretch to meet our spouse's
needs.
7. Shared
Journey. To thrive in marriage requires a sense of a shared
spiritual journey toward something greater than yourselves. This sense of
purpose generally comes from a spiritual journey toward God. I have always
believed that my husband and I had an important work to do together, and would
someday serve together in our church after our children were grown. That
knowledge has been like spiritual insurance for our marriage. Understanding
marriage as a mutual refiner's fire toward a grand purpose helps to make the ups
and downs of life easier to endure.
You CAN thrive in your marriage as
you take steps to build upon your strengths. I'm convinced that we need couples
that are thriving in their marriages now more than ever!
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Six Tips to Strengthen Your Marriage
Sexually
Sexual intimacy
is as important for the health and vitality of the marriage relationship as is
emotional closeness and spiritual connection. Sexual nourishment that feeds both
husband and wife is the dessert of married life.
Strengthening your
marriage intimately - emotionally, spiritually and sexually - is one of the most
important efforts in which you can put your time and energy. So-called desire
discrepancies between husband and wife can be a thing of the past, as couples
come to understand the intricacies of intimacy and mutual sexual fulfillment.
Couples can create a rich and fulfilling intimate relationship with the
help of these six suggestions:
Make your sexual relationship a matter of prayer.
Make your intimate relationship a priority.
Get better educated about sex, intimacy and marriage.
Be willing and able to discuss your sexual relationship
openly and honestly.
Overcome intimate inhibitors, such as negative thoughts,
fears, or relationship issues.
Relax, have fun and be playful
with each other!
Laura Brotherson is the author of, And
They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage Through Sexual Fulfillment,
www.strengtheningmarriage.com
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